You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
