Is it normal to miss your booty call?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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