doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This girl is more easily done than said...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
time to smoke my breakfast
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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