question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
