i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize