I think im going to throw up on grandma
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
