he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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