please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
