Can i not drive my cunt home
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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