Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
