Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
