dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
