I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
