ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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