She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
smell my finger.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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