And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
