She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
