if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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