just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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