Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
