all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
