:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
