these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i've created a new STD.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
