he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
