But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
