she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
