how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
