i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
