She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drake has all the answers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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