He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
