tell your sister to shave her snatch
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
