my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
