Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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