This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
