just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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