we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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