My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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