Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
