Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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