don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
