my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
