i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
