yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
