You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
