Apparently you make a good broom.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
