somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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