I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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