yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
