You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
