and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
