i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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